How to fix low libido truth #7:
It’s Not About Sex
I know I said there’s no such thing as libido. And if we’re still talking about some ‘magic sex juice’ that makes you want sex, that’s still 100% true.
But there’s one way of thinking about libido that can help:
Libido is your zest for life.
At the end of the day, you’re not going to want sex if you feel burnt-out and uninspired. If you have no time for the things that bring you joy. Or if you’re putting everything else – your job, kids, partner, family, or friends – before yourself.
If you do have to use the word libido, don’t think of it as some magic sex juice. Think of it as the very life force that animates and inspires you.
Because most of the time when I hear a client tell me they have low libido, what they’re really saying is “I feel depleted.”
Sex isn’t the purpose of libido. Life is the purpose of libido.
And sex is one (totally awesome and delicious) way to experience life.
It’s a way to feel good. To connect with your partner. To experience a profound sense of intimacy and connection.
Which is why it’s such a worthwhile thing to prioritise and make time for.
But if you’re feeling completely depleted or lost in your life, prioritising sex may not be the first place to start.
Your ‘libido’ isn’t something you need to fix. It’s not a part of you that’s broken – it’s your soul asking you to take a look at your life and find the fire again.
So there’s no pill or quick fix that’ll make you want sex (sorry), because there’s really good reasons why you don’t want sex – and those reasons need to be addressed:
- Maybe it’s stress hitting the brakes.
- Maybe there’s not enough hitting your accelerator.
- Maybe you’re burnt out and there’s nothing in the tank.
- Maybe your sex life needs a complete overhaul.
But the most empowering thing is that once you know what the real problem is, you can take the correct actions.
So remember: It’s no longer a question of how to fix low libido.
Instead, it’s about looking at what’s really going on in your sex life, in your relationship, and in your life more generally, and creating positive changes to feel more fulfilled.