How to Adjust to Moving in With Someone : Whether it’s moving in with a partner or a roommate, sharing a place with someone can be challenging. Living together is a new experience even if you’ve been to each other’s personal spaces before. There are many things to adjust for both logistically and emotionally, ensuring a smooth start to a new life.
However, you can make it work for both of you if you approach it in the right way.
Talk to Them
Open-ended communication will help foster mutual understanding with your partner. So, get everything out in the open from the beginning and freely discuss any potential deal breakers on your mind. Vocalize your fears about living with this person and the things you’re excited about as well. Not only will this keep things open and honest, but it will also make your cohabitator more conscious of things that may rub you the wrong way.
Depending on how well you know each other so far, the chances are that there’s a side of you that your partner has never experienced. Now may be the time to talk about it. It’s better to be honest about anything that could affect your living arrangement at the start than keep it to yourself. While all relationships have their ups and downs, transparency is one of the most important anchors.
Inventory what each of you has to bring to the place to save space and cost. You won’t need two TV or couch sets for your shared living room as the extra items will just eat up space. If there are duplicates, discuss which ones have to go to avoid having too much clutter in the apartment or house. Maybe you can donate or sell yours, bring in what’s necessary, and keep your shared apartment organized.
As for anything you are not comfortable sharing, make this known. You’ll want to avoid those embarrassing little tiffs over things like a missing piece of leftover pizza. But living with someone should mean sharing, so be prepared to lend things out from time to time. If you’re college roommates, your friend could borrow your printer, for example.
Divide and Conquer
If there is a need for new furniture or big expense purchases, make a list and divide the expense. Cost-sharing when living together will make your life a lot smoother, so take advantage of it where appropriate. If you are comfortable splitting the cost on one big item, that is fine. However, it is easier in the long run if just one person purchases an item. Then, when it comes time to move out, there’s no debate over who should take the piece.
Keep tabs on how much each person is spending. Also, put the list in a shared space where both parties can access it, so there’s no question over who paid what. If you’re sharing a bed with your partner, you’ll want to consider each other’s sleep needs when choosing your bedding. You can start by checking out some Nolah mattress reviews and prioritize firmness preferences and any other comfort or support needs.
Set Ground Rules
If necessary, set some rules that you need in place to be more comfortable. Compromise is key, but there will be boundaries neither of you would want crossed. This could be no loud music after a particular hour or no leaving dirty dishes in the sink for more than a day.
It’s also important that you know each other’s hot buttons—behaviors responsible for many conflicts. So, lay down the dos and don’ts early on. As this isn’t some high-discipline military life, you can set some fun rules too, such as taking turns buying wine for the week or taking turns cooking Sunday dinner for each other.
Cherish Your Own Space
No matter what your living circumstances may be, having your own space for some me-time is key. Sharing a room isn’t an obligation to keep talking or engaging 24/7. Consider finding a place in the house or apartment, whether it’s a bedroom or a front stoop, that it’s occupied at a certain time of day to relax and be still.
Although you want to keep everyone happy and accommodate, this is your space too, and your needs must also be met. You can happily share an apartment while respecting each other’s privacy and “me-time” requirements. Don’t be afraid to ask for a little space.
Make it Work
Moving in with someone can be one of your most important life decisions. Making it work doesn’t take having the perfect partner or roommate. It requires a mutual understanding, a little self-sacrifice, and genuine friendship.
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